Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Day 14

Entry: fourteen.

Today I learned that even in hi-sec I wasn't safe. As if the lesson about low-sec wasn't enough, this is starting to become a much heavier burden to bear than I had ever suspected.

A corpmate of mine, MaiteK, was under attack. She called out for help, and I came in to save her. She had apparently had her can flipped by a pirate, WildAtHart, and had unknowingly given the pirate the rights to attack her by stealing her stolen ore back.

I responded, and only a jump or two out, made best speed to Magiko in my second Rupture so far.
I made it into system rather quickly, and warped to the asteroid belt given to me by MaiteK. Upon landing, I saw the pirate, red on my overview in a Rifter, and engaged. The pirate immediately set orbit in close on me, and I found myself unable to hit her while she kept a warp disruptor on MaiteK. It didn't take long for her to destroy me and MaiteK.

To be clear, I lost yet another cruiser, and to a frigate, and the frigate also destroyed a mining vessel I'd been trying to protect. I feel helpless, as if I'm doing everything wrong and unable to help anyone. I can't even kill a lowly frigate, and yet I've now lost approximately fifteen million in ISK, and am barely able to keep myself afloat with all the missioning I'm doing. I quite literally have to go back to doing level one missions in a destroyer I had left over, as I don't have the ISK to replace my cruiser, and I can't yet do level two missions in anything smaller than a cruiser.

It's so frustrating, I don't understand, and no one seems able to help me understand. I can take the losing, I can take the dying, I just can't take NOT UNDERSTANDING. To be honest, I'm on the verge of tears, only the shreds of manhood holding them back.

What choice do I have though, except to push forward and persevere? I can't go back to being a baker, not now. At the same time, I'm completely unprepared for everything going on out here. I can't protect my friends, I can't destroy ships I've moved past. I can't even keep myself in enough ISK to afford new ships. I can barely afford to buy myself a new clone to make sure I don't lose skills I've already trained.

Please, someone, help me...I can't take this...

Computer: terminate recording.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Day 12

Entry: twelve.

I've been reluctant to admit this, but ten days ago, I lost my first ship at the hands of pirates.

At the time, which was my first real day as a capsuleer, I had the idea that I would harvest gas clouds for ISK. I remotely purchased a gas cloud harvester, and set the autopilot for Dal, where the purchase was to be made. While the autopilot handled the trip, I handled watching the television.

Some time later, I arrived in Amamake. I really had no idea what happened, finding myself back in the system I started in, Huadagago. I've learned, only recently, that I had been caught by what is called a gatecamp. Apparently, pirates sit at the hi-sec to low-sec gates on the low-sec side, and prey on people silly enough or naive enough to go through. So, not only did I lose my Stabber, which I had worked so hard to earn the ISK up for, but I also got podded.

The headache was excrutiating. Only after it passed did I have an inkling what happened, but I was still in shock, unable to register what happened. These days since then I've mostly blocked out the experience. Today it all came rushing back.

I had recently acquired a Rupture. I knew, at this point at least, that low-sec was dangerous, but seeking ISK, I ventured in anyways. With my tech 1 fitted Rupture, I warped to an asteroid belt, and engaged an Angel Battleship. Evading the battleship was simple, though killing it was taking some time. Evading the pirate piloting the Wolf that warped in on me was impossible.

Shock had once again set in. I saw him on the overview, I saw him warp in, I noticed I was taking a lot of damage rather quickly. I was in so much shock I didn't have the presence of mind to disengage the battleship and engage the Wolf.

I woke up not even a minute later back in Huadagago, another excrutiating headache. I couldn't understand what was going on. I KNEW I lost my ship, I KNEW I lost my capsule, but I couldn't register it.

It's taken some time today, simply dwelling on it, before I understood.

I'd lost yet another cruiser to pirates, again in low-sec. All the ISK I'd earned had to be put towards a replacement, draining me of most of my hard earned ISK over the last ten days. Only in hi-sec did I seem to be safe from other capsuleers, and in low-sec I was something akin to a donut to a fat man: irresistible and not long for the world.

I think the lesson is simple, if difficult to grasp at first: everyone is out to get you.

Computer: terminate recording.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Day 2-1

Entry: two, supplemental log one.

The Representative laid out his plans for me. I wasn't pleased. I did not, however, see a way out. That changed earlier today, after meeting with the Representative.

I was contacted by another capsuleer, one of the first in my brief existence as a a pod pilot. We talked briefly, and his intent became clear: he was looking to recruit me into his corporation.

He made it plain that were I to accept, I would not join the corp proper, but rather a recruiting corp for the head organization. After a time, and the ability to pilot certain vessels, I would be allowed into the main corp should I choose to join.

I suppose I don't have many options at my feet right now. As it stands, I am only allowed free rein in that I can stay in Minmatar space, and fairly soon, join the militia as yet another warm body on the front lines against the Amarr. This could offer me a way out.

I've heard through bits of overhead conversation that capsuleer corporations have technology that rivals National governments. Perhaps they have the tools to save me from this predicament. If such is the case, I'll probably join up with them.

This programmed-bomb in my head is not a pleasant thing to have on my shoulders.

Computer: terminate recording.

Day 2

Entry: two.

Yesterday I made the decision to become a capsuleer. I admit, the change, as incomprehensible as it was, was terrifying. I had no idea what was going on, much less why. Perhaps here I can recount what happened and make sense of it all.

After telling the representative from the Republic Military School that I would take the plunge, he turned and walked away. It seemed clear from his attitude that I follow, so I stayed a few steps behind him.

We made a quick route through the station to the cloning facilities. Perhaps we had already been close by the facilities when we met at the dock. I felt disoriented though, unable to tell left from right, and eventually up from down, or even up from sideways. Apparently, gravity generation on space stations is a tricky thing, sometimes just because the designer has a sense of humor.

When we arrived the Facility, I was told to lie down. I did I was asked, and the technician came over to my side, flicking my arm so that he could find a good vein.

"This will all be over before you know it, sir," he said to me. It sounded as though he was perhaps a bit bored. I wondered how often he did this sort of job, making me wonder how many capsuleers existed.

There was a small prick, a slightly unpleasant sensation, and then I went to sleep.

I woke up in excruciating pain. My eyes flared open as far as they could go as I reeled from the pain. My arms jerked involuntarily to grab my head, only to hit a plastic wall of some sort. I writhed, dimly noting the tubes and wires attached to me in this vat of liquid, and then the pain ceased almost immediately. Seconds later, my vision changed as the liquid drained. Everything was returning to normal.

As the last of the liquid drained away, the wall around me split apart, and I fell out. I struggled to get myself back on my, and after a minute or two, I managed to do that, ripping out the wires and tubes that were attached all over my body. The sensation of doing so was...unsettling...

"Welcome to immortailty," the representative said to me, a smile on his face but cold calculation in his eyes.

Computer: terminate recording.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Backlog: Day -1

Entry: Backlog minus one.

My capsuleer status is still in limbo. This is, however, the last day that it can remain so.

For nearly two weeks, I've been able to simulate what life as a capsuleer is like. My real body is floating somewhere in a medical tank filled with liquid air, liquid food being run into my body via IV. In exchange, while I'm conscious of being here in this tube, it's a background sensation while I transmit and receive signals from a robot that, for all intents and purposes, is me.

In the beginning, I had no idea what was going on. Immediately after being linked in I was floating in space in a starship I had never seen before. It was, as I later came to learn, a Reaper: the lowest of Minmatar frigates. As I later learned, it paled in comparison to every other ship I bought and flew, but on that day, it was quite literally the best I could do. I manage to struggle through the interface and destroy the approaching hostiles: scrappers. They were coming to dismantle my ship and reprocess it for minerals for ISK. It's only now that I realize how low they are on the food chain in space.

After my brush with death and confusion, I made my way to only station in Ammold, and made contact with the lone agent out there. I completed a series of missions meant to test my mettle, and after passing, she passed me on to the Republic Military School's main training agents in Huadagago. I spent approximately a week completing the training courses offered by them.

For the last week I've been running missions for a company in the system next door, Eystur. I was still pretty timid, but needed some new agents to provide some income. I found some guy that worked for Quafe, and ran missions for him for a while. I'm still running missions for him, honestly. The standings are taking a while to get high enough for me to access a level two agent.

The missions have expanded my knowledge a bit. I fly a Thrasher now, a destroyer class vessel, eons ahead in capability of the first Reaper I flew. I've managed to cobble together maybe a million ISK in liquid right now, maybe another million in all the other junk I've collected.

I've been assured that, should I decide to not become a capsuleer right now, what I've acquired will remain mine until such a time as I die or choose immortality. I'm feeling like I'll be taking the plunge to the life of a capsuleer, however. I don't want this experience to end. Not yet.

There's so much to learn.

Computer: terminate recording.